I hope I don't sound cruel...
To digress slightly, the reason I bring up children is because my friend David's 7-year old cousin gave him an assignment to complete by April 15th. Basically what went down is the cousin sent David a cutout of herself and informed him that he needed to take this cutout around campus and take pictures of it and then record the adventures of the cutout girl.
I suppose David did not want to complete such an odd task alone, so he enlisted in my help. As is the case, I thought I would share the adventures of this little girl with those that read my blog! This is a tale of anguish, woe, hearthbreak and a little bit of romance... Enjoy!
My Trip to College
Since I am only in second grade, I have never been to a college before. At first I was confused because I thought I was going to be made into a collage. It’s a good thing that my cousin David explained the difference between the two.
As it turned out, I was mailed to the University of Illinois. It is about 3 hours South of Buffalo Grove. On the way down I passed many fields of corn and soybeans. They looked delicious! I think the college might be in the middle of one of those fields.
Here I am wearing my Illinois sweatshirt (I think that most kids on campus have the same one! I fit right in!):
In college you get to choose which subjects you study. There were so many things to choose from so I tried them all!!!
First I decided to try computer programming. Maybe I could design the next cool video game!
Here is my first attempt at a video game:
It was not very popular.
During my hours of programming I fell asleep 3 times. Programming was not as fun as I thought it would be so I decided to try something that would interest me more.
I like going on vacation with my family, so I decided to find out where all the countries are. I went to the library and found some maps. I found Iceland, Korea, and Norway. They did not seem like great vacation spots. Here I am on top of the world!!
It was cold up at the North Pole and Santa was sleeping, so I continued my adventure through the library to check out some books on a warmer topic. I found one called Thermodynamical Instabilities in Semi-Amorphous Crystalline Structures of Tungsten Nanowires. Here I am studying hard:
It was a very complicated book. I prefer reading the Harry Potter books. They are very exciting!
All that studying made me hungry! David did not have a lot of food options at his apartment. I took a picture of myself in his pantry:
The noodles were tasty, salty, and tasted exactly like chicken! I want to eat this every day when I’m in college. Yummy!
I was interested in what chemicals were in my chicken noodles. People called chemists study chemicals so I made my way over to the chemistry laboratories. The scientists were very busy trying to extinguish a fire, so I escaped quickly, but not before taking a picture next to their work area!
Here I am next to bottles called flasks and beakers. The chemicals are kept in here – I was told not to take a drink no matter how thirsty I was:
Working in the chemistry laboratory was hard because the safety goggles were too big :-(
Chemistry had too many equations, tricky tests, and strange-smelling substances so upon speaking with some sneaky squirrels, they slyly suggested I study something superior. Biology was the answer! Here I am at my first visit to the lab:
I got to play with some mice, some puppies and some bacteria. The bacteria were yucky so I washed my hands. 99.9% were eliminated. The remaining .1% were resistant to antibacterial soap and soon multiplied and took over my hands. Biology scared me. I wanted to calm myself down with some classical music.
This led me to the Music Building. The students there told me where I could find a piano. They were very helpful even if they were a bit eccentric. Here I am playing Mozart’s Divertimento No. 11 In D - Iv. Menuetto (Theme With Variations).
It was a pretty complicated song, but now that I’m college educated, it was no sweat for me! I learned it in 1 hr. Just kidding I am only visiting here! The music students played the song for me – how nice of them! By now it was very late in the day. The college students have a habit of getting together with friends on all nights of the week! I was astounded, but much too tired to join them in the festivities. I decided it was time for bed. Too bad the music was way too loud so I could not sleep. Instead, I read some of David’s fascinating books about engineering, and I quickly fell asleep.
The next day, I awakened to find myself in darkness. I guess during the night, David stuffed me into my envelope. To pass the time, I am journaling this letter.
As a whole, however, college was fun. I learned many things about the subjects you can study and about the crazy people who go there. I can’t wait until I am finally old enough to join in on the fun. For now, I will go back to Mrs. Labbe’s class and enjoy my life as a kid!
There it is! The fruit of mine and David's creations. I was going for a child's voice - trust me it was not hard to do. And who agrees that this basically describes college life as a whole, yes?
On another note, Happy Passover to all the Jews out there. Lets all shout hooray for escaping Egypt and slavery!
Have a good weekend......
